Its hard...

I've been very patient and even tempered and kind... but sometimes I just want to scream and yell and slap a few people... ok, maybe not slap, but put them in their place. I'm trying to be an adult but its hard when people who are also suppose to be adults, don't act like one. This isn't high school, and believe it or not I never even acted like that in high school, so it's even more unbelievable! I really do think some children act more like adults then their adults. It's very frustrating!

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

" Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. "
Laurence J. Peter

I know I've mentioned this quote in my other blog but seeing as this fits the whole "Rant and Rave" thing I'd figure I'd use it to start this crazy blog.

I really like this quote because it's absolutely true! Yet not a lot of people regret their words though.
 Personally I like to think before I blurt out anything in anger. However, when I calm down, I still don't talk about the thing that made me angry or confront the person who made me angry. Which I know from my child development class is not good, because then you're bottling up all these emotions inside.

You see, I have the tendency to not speak when I'm angry... or sad... or annoyed or even happy... for the most part. When I get angry or upset (mostly "negative" feelings) I keep them to myself. I will think for awhile and be angry or annoyed or whatever and then get "over it". . . and while giving myself this time away from those who give me these negative feelings, I would think and mull over and make these absolutely great speeches in my head with the person(s) I'm angry at. Very articulate... but not always so nice but incredibly (I think) funny, smart, poised, classy, I'm right! kinda speeches/arguments. . . and then I would feel better and continue on with the normal routine ... that is until they annoy, anger, frustrate, etc etc. me again.

I'm working on that with Charlie. The whole communication thing is hard though. I didn't have too many experiences or opportunities to practice when I was a child. I lived in a household where "children should be seen, NOT heard" I noticed I am far more articulate in my head then in real life. LOL. I know it's because I haven't had that much practice but it seems so absurd that I can form what I wanna say nicely in my head but when it comes out of my mouth it's anything but .. I told Charlie I've never felt more like a child then this past year. One of the reasons being my inability to communicate and regulate my feelings. (this is usually learned as a child)

Anyways I think I got completely off track...lol. Where was I... ah yes: "Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."
It amazes me how people can say such hurtful, hateful words to others in anger and go on about their day as if it was nothing. Personally Ive had people say such things to me... for what seems like all my life. Maybe that's why I try not to do the same... sometimes I do, do it though... after all, I can only take so much... yet unlike them I regret them afterwards . . . however Not saying anything at all isn't good either.

I'm learning to continue and improve my 'not saying things in anger' but I'm also learning that I still need to communicate those feelings in a productive way.

Gotta go... so much to do!!!

Happy Venting!!! <3