In the last couple of weeks I've experienced all these and more... I write in this blog because this is probably not going to be all that cheerful. I will most likely speak of all types of "negative" feelings and thoughts Ive had. Some things I've spoken out loud... and have regretted in a way. I know Im human and I get angry and feel hate but after the storm I feel as though I am wrong at feeling this things... Does that make sense??? Im TRYING to express those feelings like a "Normal" person but I always feel as though Ive said too much or perhaps I havent expressed myself correctly. I feel as though I am burdening those I tell just by telling them. I am unsure as to when this started but from what Ive read and learned in school it stems from early childhood. I cant remember EVER talking about my feelings with another human being growing up. I remember talking to myself. I remember trying to figure out why? how? by discussing those feelings with me, myself and God. I would eventually figure it out but I wouldnt talk to anyone about my conclusions.
Its frustrating not being able to talk to someones without feeling remorseful... or feeling fearful... or thinking they dont care.
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